Shell seekers
Collectors of sand
Between seasons near the shore
Faces to the sun
Soaking up long lost rays
Mother Light
Solar Sister rides high in the April sky
Toes dipping in the Atlantic’s low tide
Water bluer than blue
Dogs romping
It’s their playground ’til summer starts to call
Day 13. A lucky day. Spent the morning at Plum Island with my oldest son gathering bits and pieces for June’s big day.
Credit: www.penandbell.com
Roads, paths, byways and highways
Places I have seen
People I have met
Those whom I have loved
They are beginning to exist in my memory
Dwelling in a happy space of a life well-lived
The long flat road of childhood
Pathways of the campus
The bustling avenue of a young woman
The winding lane of a small town
and the rolling hills that I have run upon
Streets pushing the strollers that carried my babies
The muddy country road in the mountains
and the long highway to John’s Island
Road trips, day trips, field trips and side trips
Mystery trips to the notches and beaches
I see them in my dreams
I have not yet reached the mountain top
and gladly so
Now I hold hands with my beloved
We stand at the gateway
Our eyes fixed on a new direction
Our hearts following their own path
Day 9. A dream scape poem that needed to be written.
The only tyrant I accept is my inner voice
~Mahatma Ghandi
How often do you act on your instincts? Pay attention to messages from the universe? Rely on some form of faith?
Yes. A simpler life was the first message I heard. The first sentence I said out loud when my man and I decided to get married. Since then, I have been shedding reminders and responsibilities that only served to crowd and complicate my everyday existence. Boxes and boxes of items donated or tossed and even set aflame. Decisions about the house. Rent? Sell? In the coming months, the shelter will be the focus of some very serious discussions and resolutions. Changes to the neighborhood have brought this to bear. In this regard, I have patiently waited for cosmic messages and definitely relied on my gut. Because of this, I have been able to think clearly, protect myself and rely on the expertise of others. I feel prepared and not blind-sided-so unlike seven years ago when I was an emotional wreck. However, I am not going to pretend that it is going to be an easy process; I just know that I won’t be or feel alone.
After a period of contemplation and turning over, I have decided to change my career path as well. Still exploring what that might be but I am well certain that I will NOT be in the same field or in the same setting. I see this decision as another means to simplify my life and pursue opportunities that may bring forth the as yet unknown gifts that I hold in store. One thing I do know is that I want and still need to work ( I am a WICKED people person!) but not in a job that can suck away so much of my mental energy.
This interlude is a favorable time. A wide open space in which to develop a new niche, new friends. A place for myself as well as for my partner. The former is essential. I have honed my new found skills of independence and a solid inner life that is sure to serve me well in the coming years.
When my work day life resumes shortly, I hope to hold onto to this state of mind and heart. I’ll tend to the seeds of my summer sojourn and continue to bring forth the bounty in my last remaining year as a native of the north.
Maria doesn’t remember the exact moment she met Danny. Thirty years is a long time to look back on when so much of life has occurred. She remembers it was June and the NBA finals were on. Celtics versus the Lakers. Bird versus Magic. She and a bunch of other twenty-somethings were crowded around someone’s television set in a double-decker apartment. A Sunday afternoon sunny and warm-the windows open to let the cool breeze inside the second floor living room.
And there he was. Thin and tan with long blonde hair. A friend of Layla’s (technically her boss), Danny was the editor of a small town newspaper where Layla worked as a reporter. Maria met Layla through an old college friend and they in turn, hit it off. She quickly became a part of Layla’s social circle.
And just as quickly, she fell in with Danny. Their first date together was dinner at his house on the lake. Gnocchi and wine. Maria doesn’t remember how she got there (she had no car in those days) but does recall spending the night. She loved the spontaneity of their relationship. Days at the beach. Beer and steamers at The Barnacle at sunset. Sunday mornings at the lake. Her hair streaked with sun and her skin as brown as a berry. The absolute sheer physical attraction was the energy that fueled their relationship. Maria had no inhibitions with him. She was quite sure that her sounds of ecstasy reverberated throughout the walls of the house he shared with three others but felt no sense of self-consciousness regarding her new found self-expression. Danny brought out a lustful beast in her that she found hard to contain. Their forays in the sand nearly bordered on public acts of indecency. (Just thinking about it now causes her heart to race and her body to pulse in places only he could touch.)
They fanned the flames of their affair all summer long. Their bodies were joined more than they were apart, breaking only for soothing swims and meals that seemed to have aphrodisiac effects. Maria’s head and heart and spirit were full of passion. Danny gave her what she needed without demands and she did the same in turn. They talked and laughed but never got in too deep. Maria loved the fact that he was a true gentleman; he treated her kindly and with a reverence reserved for those he deeply admired. Perhaps this is what drew them together. While they surely fucked like animals at times, he never treated her like a stranger or a one-night stand. But he never did tell her that he loved her nor she him. A strange dichotomy in some ways. But it worked for as long as it could last.
As summer turned to autumn and the nights grew cold, they said good-bye. Maria felt a sad longing for a little while but she never did see or think about him again. Until tonight. Sitting here with her friends, Maureen and Joanne at a beach front bar. She looks up from her drink to see a man standing next to her. He smiles. Tan, short cut blonde hair with traces of gray. “Maria”, says Maureen, “This is my boss Danny. I have been dying for you two to meet.”
You know, I didn’t think we’d survive in that pounding surf
Tell me about it, Myrtle. It felt like a hurricane was sweeping over the Gulf
No, No Myrna, it was the gosh darn pelicans thinking we were still housing those crabs
True enough Phyllis. Thank goodness those babies flew the coop a long time ago.
Well, I certainly was relieved when we washed up on shore at sunset!
Yes, indeed a beautiful sight just in time for a little shut-eye
Only to be rudely awakened by that beach loader. Geez, just when we relax, we get moved again
Now, Myrtle, you have to admit the driver was a hottie!
Oh I must say I was getting a case of the vapors when he laid me down in the sand…
Well girls, I have to admit that he sure picked a cozy spot for the three of us
Until that middle aged beach babe spotted us…
Yes girls but she has a plan, I believe
Well, it looks like we’re going for a ride since she plopped us down right beside her truck
OOh I am all a- flutter Myrtle, I hear there’s some BIG conch shells in these parts!
Myrna, I think you’ve got a bit too much sand stuck that shell of yours. Those conchies are always after the younger set
You’re right about the sand Phyllis and we’re about to get some shaken loose. It’s been a long time…
Our Lovely Miss Kellie presented us with a most original prompt this week! I left out the mystery since I had taken this photo earlier this month and knew I would use it someday in my writing. It fit perfectly for today’s prompt. My oldest son came up with the title after he saw the photo and dared me to use it!
Here is your FWF prompt:
Credit: belleofthelibrary.com
Her toes tickled the sand
Her face baked in the August sun
Her ears deafened by the roar of the ocean
Her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the surf’s glare
as she tried to ignore the deep, grinding hollowed out hunger in her gut
She could not conjure up her family’s next meal
No magic wand of money would be appearing any time soon
The stash in the basement was null and void
The fridge a wide open expanse of empty
And what else would be waiting at home?
Just the cause of the family’s famine in the first place
The one who dared touch the last remnants of fruit left for his children
Whose anger ignited at being denied those rock bottom bits
She rested in the stillness with her dull endless ache
Becoming more numb by the minute
The tide washing her pain away
“It’s something we’d all gotten used to, that hollowness in the veins, the nagging feeling there was always just a bit too much air behind your ribs.”
~Andre’ Dubus III (from his memoir “Townie”)
When he first left, she felt that she had been tossed overboard. Forced to swim against impossible currents. Paddling with one oar. Surely, she was gasping for air. At best, she could tread water.
If she stood still too long, she could feel a nibbling at her feet. Those predators sent from the deep to test her willingness, her courage to face her darkest fear: Could she make it on her own?
Then as sudden as the tide turns with the pull of the moon, she discovered the means to propel herself through the fierce storm of waves and the deepest of cold waters. With each stroke, the oasis of a new beginning was within sight.
Weary and worn but never defeated, she arose from the surf. Transformed from her journey through the salty brine, she reached the shore. Gorgeous, with the countenance of both an Amazon warrior woman and delicate nymph, she turned and bade farewell to a life laden with lies and libel. Her new path a revolution, a revival and revelation.
A Free Write Friday composed on a Sunday morning. Thanks to Kellie Elmore and all the other inspirational composers for their continued support!
Nominated by the lovely poetress Annie @ http://anniesmuse.wordpress.com/
After writing and posting my 169th piece, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself nominated for the Sunshine Award! We sure could use some up here in the month of February!
So, onto the process: Write 10 facts about yourself and nominate 10 others as well.
1) I love to read and carry at least two books with me in my car daily. You never know if you’ll break down. Reading is a great thing to do while waiting for AAA!
2) I love running and have participated in the sport since I was 11. Took a break for a bit in my 20’s and love it even more in my 50’s.
3) I love yoga almost as much as running. My yoga mat is near my desk ready for use at all times. I go to a hot yoga studio weekly and am now into my 36th straight day of doing yoga with a goal for a full 365 for this year.
4) I also enjoy strength training but find it hard to do when my basement is 48 degrees. Plus, I spend a lot of time shoveling snow in the winter.
5) The ocean soothes my soul and it is in these long winter days that I miss it the most.
6) I make sure to see the sunrise and sunset everyday no matter where I am. The only obstacle is usually cloud cover!
7) I love getting my hair done. For years when I was married and the mother of young children, I kept my hair very short and got cheap haircuts. That ceased about 8 years ago when a good friend of mine paid for my haircut with her hairdresser. She spent the year convincing me to grow my hair and Voila’!
8) I am grateful to be in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man.
9) My two grown sons have turned into two good men. Very little fine tuning needed!
10) No matter what life has brought to my door, I have no regrets about the choices I have made-they helped to make me a stronger person.
And the nominees are:
1) http://dorothychiotti.com/ Consistently strong writing spoken with passion from the heart.
2) http://pinkwoods.wordpress.com/ This girl can write about pain so beautifully and with true honesty.
3) http://talichaj.com/ I love her spoken word poetry!
4) http://phylor.wordpress.com/ This writer blows me away every time!
5) http://jenniesaia.wordpress.com/ Jennie’s passionate opinions and energy ring true. I look forward to her posts all the time.
6) http://markschutter.com/ What can I say? I just love Mark. His appreciation for his life shows in all his posts and his art.
7) http://graypoet.wordpress.com/ A man with a gift for rhyme and more.
Well, I just have 7 because some of the ones I love no longer accept awards or have already been nominated for Sunshine! Quality writers here nonetheless!
Namaste’
These are days
These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It’s true
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking
To you, to you ~ 10,000 Maniacs
Well, we have officially entered the holiday season. All around me, I am hearing snippets of conversations of how Thanksgiving is approaching too quickly or arriving too early this year. Within the same conversations lie the predictable follow-up of how the Christmas season is fast on the heals of the feast-for some as early as midnight when they begin their Christmas shopping. Most likely the reason that some of us are feeling a sense of dread is that the holidays have become just another thing to do on our already overloaded “to do” list. These exchanges obviously miss the point of our annual celebrations. As I have gotten older, I have become more and more cognizant of the materialistic and falsely cheerful feel that these holidays are supposed to imbue. Let’s be real: some of us don’t like our relations! Let’s be even more real: some of us have split families and are in the annual psychological juggle of whom we choose to spend time with.
When we allow ourselves to get into this weird time warp of unhealthy thinking and situations, we are stealing our own joy. I remember the extraordinarily difficult time that my boys and I had with the changes in holiday traditions once their father left the house. It was so ridiculous to have to split time or have them choose between mom and dad. Now they are older and able to make their own choices that fits their desires so that the days are filled with celebration, laughter and emotional warmth. They can begin their own traditions so that they can create life long memories of the season.
I want this year and every year to be an Appreciation Celebration. I want to dig deep and reflect upon what has really mattered in my life and savor it. I was thinking about this recently as I drove up the highway to a favorite port city of mine. I was on a gift purchase mission for my sons and boyfriend. Interestingly enough, I had never driven alone to my destination and I found myself taking a different exit. I was not panicked by my detour in the least; I knew the city well enough. Also, since I only had a dollar bill, I would need to find parking on the street as opposed to a garage. So, I was quite proud of myself when I arrived at a near perfect parking spot that charged just a buck for 1 hour of parking and was close to the store! One of the best parts about shopping at small businesses are the personal connections you can make with the store’s owner. During my shopping, the owner and I had a meaningful conversation about relationships with our children and even a bit about our own lives. He struck me a person who had experienced some of life’s hard knocks and had come out a better person as as result. I was so delighted by our talk that I left the store ready for another solo shopping adventure in yet another port city! As I traveled south, the sun was setting. Sunsets on the coast are huge-the whole sky looks like it’s awash in a golden orange. I remember thinking that I started the week basking in the sunrise and now I was doing the same with the sunset at the end of the week-very fitting. So onward I drove until I arrived at yet another terrific specialty store. And of course, my experience there was equally as positive-having made a connection with the store manager around the miracle of finding love the second time around and the challenges of a long distance relationship.
When my shopping was complete, I felt energized by the experience. Not only had I done something by myself for the first time (on a Friday night in the dark) but I had enjoyed an authentic connection with 2 strangers! All of us crave some form of connection to others. Of course, I cannot expect everyone to be like me. But I do believe the we can at least be kind to one another or give a person a smile. Often we are too caught up in our own personal agendas to take the time to perform simple acts of kindness. And, of course, this is exactly what gets lost in the holiday rush.
I feel like I have finally arrived in the life that I was meant to be living. I have an unbounded sense of freedom. I am surrounded by love daily. The other day, I needed to call my youngest son while we were both on our way to work. When he answered the phone, I could tell that he was glad to hear from me just by the way he said hello. For the past two Saturdays, he and his girlfriend have asked if I have dinner plans. What nearly 20 year old wants to hang with his mom on a weekend night? (Great way to stay out of trouble, though!) My oldest son and his girlfriend are now regular attendees at Sunday dinner. When the five of us are together, we relax, talk and chow down. What especially strikes me is how my sons’ girlfriends love the boys for who they are. As a mother, I could not ask for anything more.
Life is not only short, it is fragile. Go out and live this season and every season with purpose, love and good intentions.
Please note that this post was originally published on 11/19/12 as my own free write and well before I had so many wonderful and inspiring followers of my blog. It fits well with today’s prompt. I am grateful to all of you for your unending support. And I am forever grateful to Kellie Elmore without whom this blog would not have grown. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
Many Many thanks to Kim @Traces of the Soul Whispering Insights of then, there, here and now . (http://tracesofthesoul.wordpress.com/) for nominating me for a Liebster award.
For those who are unfamiliar with the Liebster Award rules here they are :
1. Thank the blogger who nominated you for the Liebster Award, and link back to his or her blog.
2. Answer the 11 questions that your nominator asks you.
3. Post 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Nominate 11 bloggers of your own, with under 200 followers, whom you think are as awesome as you.
5. Create 11 questions for your nominees.
6. And finally… Display the Liebster Award logo on your page.
11 random facts about me:
1- What made you start blogging the very FIRST time?
I was encouraged to start a blog by my oldest son and my fiance’ in the Winter/Spring of 2012. According to them, I have a way with words! So, I read books on writing (Bird by Bird by Annie Lamott and On Writing by Stephen King), attended a writing symposium for an evening at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida (hosted by authors Dennis Lehane and Andre Dubus III) and read lots of memoirs. And with the help of my oldest son’s girlfriend, created my blog last August!
2- If you had to go to a deserted island for 3 months, what 5 things would you not be able to live without? Books, paper and pen (I count them as 1 thing!), strong coffee, my sons and my fiance’.
3- What size shoes do you wear? 7.5
4- Do you believe in true love and why? Yes but only when you are happy with yourself first and understand who you are. True love is not the stuff of Lifetime movies. In my experience, I found that it brings me a strong sense of peace and simmering joy. The person you are with understands you on a profound and deep level- your essence.
5- How old should a person really be permitted to drive and explain why? Eighteen! Having two sons get their license at 16 and 17 and seeing how much better they are 3-4 years later makes me think that 18 is just about right. Executive function and the fusing of the pre-frontal lobe in the brain usually occur in boys between the ages of 18-20.
6- What is your favorite meal of the day? I have no favorite actually! I like all 3 meals for various reasons. I am mindful of what I eat (even when it comes to dessert!) so I enjoy every bite of anything that arrives in my bowl or on my plate!
7- If you could control the weather, what would you choose? A day much like today. 77 degrees F. Dry and Sunny with the bluest of blue skies. I mean you cannot believe how brilliant it is out there!
8- If you could eliminate one thing evil in this world, what would that be? All forms of violence, abuse, oppression, suppression and repression towards women. When women are held down, disrespected, or not allowed to have a voice, everyone is held back from moving towards the fullest expression of themselves and towards being a gcontributing citizen of the world.
9- We have animal protection, child protection, should we start having laws protecting elderly persons? Absolutely! We treat our elders as if they are waiting to die rather than a person who has lived a life and deserves dignity and the utmost respect.
10- Have you ever had a speeding ticket and when was that? Never! A warning once but never a ticket.
11- What did you want to be when you were in Grade school? I was too busy playing to even think about it!
Eleven Facts About Myself:
1) I love to run and have been involved in the sport at various levels since I was 11 (that is 41 years with some time off in my 20’s).
2) I love yoga almost as much as running. My mat is always out and I attend hot yoga classes regularly.
3) I love being outside-hiking, mowing, shoveling snow, running, walking-any reason to get out every day.
4) I love good food and I love to eat.
5) I love a good strong cup of coffee in the morning when I wake up.
6) I speak my mind. For years, I forgot how to do that and now I do it all the time!
7) I love being a mom to my twenty-something sons. They turned out to great men thanks to me!
8) I love to write and read. I think the only time I didn’t read a book was when I was giving birth to my sons!
9) I love the beach-no matter what season.
10) I love spending time with my girlfriends.
11) I love training for and running in half-marathons with my fiance’.
Many of the blogs I follow have more than 200 subscribers or have already been awarded a Liebster. So after careful consideration, I am nominating the following wonderful writers:
1) Heidi Barnes at: http://www.anauthorandhermuse.com/: Gifted writer. A joy to read. Check out her books.
2) Annie at ANNIE’S MUSE Love her poetry and her point of view.
3) Charlene whose words really rock! at Brighterdays Blog
4) The lovely and powerful Pink Woods
5) Amazing, suspenseful flash fiction from: Amanda’s Writing
6) Photography, flash fiction, poetry and a newly published book from: Artifacts and Fictions
7) I truly admire Maria’s creative versatility and her love of the outdoors. Check her out @ xxculture
Here are your questions (with 1 or 2 from the ones posed to me)
1) What is one place in the world that you would like to visit?
2) What is your favorite word?
3) What is your least favorite word?
4) If you were to meet someone famous (dead or alive), who would it be and why?
5) What book have you read lately that you would recommend?
6) When was the first time you fell in love?
7) What is your dream job?
8) What job would you least like to do?
9) If you could eliminate one thing evil in this world, what would that be?
10) If you had to go to a deserted island for 3 months, what 5 things would you not be able to live without?
11) What is your favorite time of day and why?
Congratulations Nominees!
Building A Life Of Hope 