Free But Not Free

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                  Image courtesy of: Rúrí   ruri.is  Woman / Freedom

 

Freedom on my mind

Free but not Free

When my body is:

CONTROLLED

TRAP(PED)*

INVADED

by:

Religious “Freedom” Regulators

Bishops’ Bogus Bylaws

and

Junk Science Adjudicators

who:

Perpetuate and Perpetrate Propaganda

Perverting Pregnancy

Separating and Segregating

 Female from Fetus

When the Heart Beat is Felonious

Far from Notability and Viability

Free But Not Free

In Bondage to Strangers

Bearing False Witness to the Experience

and

The Acute Burden of Being Female**

Free But Not Free

When Doctors Cannot Speak

of

OPTIONS

and

CHOICES

and

CHANCES

to

Retain and Maintain

THE AUTONOMY OF MY BODY

                                                                          is

GAGGED

and

GUNNED DOWN

In the Name of

GOD

Free But Not Free

When I Cannot

OBTAIN CARE

that

PERTAINS

To

MY HEALTH

I Must

CONSENT

and

You Must

REFRAIN

MY BODY IS MY DOMAIN

 

*Refers to Trap laws regarding access to abortion (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) which impose specific standards and other regulations that appear to be arbitrary, are difficult to implement and are aimed at closing abortion clinics.

** credit to Michelle Obama

I saw the film BirthRight: A War Story, yesterday afternoon. It was not what I thought it would be. I cannot accurately summarize the entire film, but it is at once a history lesson and personal stories about women’s health care in this country. It is streaming on HULU and you can subscribe to it on YouTube. Here is a link to the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7GgXygGLQM

Also: The current regime has imposed a Gag Rule on all clinics and other women’s health care services that receive Title X funding. In order to receive any federal grant money, they cannot provide any abortion services or even refer women to clinics that provide them. By law (since 1978), the federal government does not provide Medicaid funding to women who seek abortions and who also qualify for Medicaid. They can receive other health care, however. So if you go to any of these clinics for normal health care checkups or screenings, be aware of these changes. You are on your own for seeking advice on pregnancy termination services. Note also that this same rule was applied during Reagan’s presidency and rescinded under Clinton’s.  

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Why Write?

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            Courtesy of: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/553802085399155400/

        Since moving to a new state 3 and 1/2 years ago, I have found it difficult to tap into my creative outlet on a regular basis.  Lately, I have wondered why- given that my life is filled with less responsibilities and a bit more time in which to write. I have moved away from the near daily reminders of my past into a space where I can build a whole new life for myself. Perhaps my expectations were too great. Reality has a way of biting into those beliefs, forcing a change to my mindset. So, what’s changed? A close examination bears the following: my job as a teacher pulls and drains at the energy required for such a task beyond the work day.  Each year my school community has challenged me with a new class to teach. The trust placed in me to create (yes!) another new course with its accompanying curriculum is both an honor and a burden, given the high expectations (there’s that word again!) that I place upon myself. I wouldn’t have it any other way, either.  When I moved here, it was important for me to cultivate a community-not necessarily replicate the one I left but it needed to come close. My work environment fits the bill.  It is a place of love and support and laughter as well as being intellectually stimulating.  And herein lies another obstacle to my creativity-a draining commute! I find the endless traffic lights and the strip mall landscape and multi-lane roads unbearable. The lack of investment in modern and efficient public transportation here borders on the ridiculous (no, it is ridiculous!).  There is no time of day when traffic is not heavy.  Local and state leaders truly have not had (and I would argue still do not have) the gumption and vision to move forward in this area. The only exception may be the desire to build highways in rural areas, which is nothing but a blatant attempt to further develop an already over developed fragile ecosystem whose drinking water problems may very well be the death of us. And given the fact that one has to travel over large bodies of water in order to get from point A to point B-not only to get to work or other destinations, but to also evacuate-you would think that this would be taken into account. But I live in a heads- in- sand-state; so again, I have lowered my expectations of things changing anytime soon. For now I have found a route home that is tolerable and calming for the most part.

 After a day spent teaching and a drive spent being grateful for not getting into an accident, all I can muster is a yoga workout and then meditation on my mat! Dinner, a bit of wine and a good British murder mystery is how I usually end my day.

Still, there are two things I truly fear most about hitting the keyboards these days. First, that it will be an endless lament about how much I miss my four season home state and the nearby mountains. If I couldn’t get to a higher altitude, I had the woods and hills. THE QUIET. Florence Williams reveals her own writing challenges in her book, The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier and More Creative.  In her introduction, she writes of her family’s move from the majestic mountains of Colorado to the “Anti-Arcadia that is our nation’s capital.” She states: “I yearned for the mountains. I felt disoriented, overwhelmed, depressed.” (p.8)  After reading that bit, I realized that I was not alone; my emotions were validated.  And while I cannot escape the din more regularly, I find myself seeking out the trails in a nearby park. If I turn up my headphones just enough, I can almost not hear the sounds of the sirens that seem to drone on several times within a half-day’s span. Moreover, I head north as much as possible ( five times in 2018!). My soul is fed by time spent with the boys and my closest friends-not to mention mountain hikes and walks in the woods!

     My other fear is that I will devote most of this blog’s posts to the current political climate in our country. When I first started the site nearly 7 years ago, I wanted a space where I could explore and grow my writing as well as offer a forum of hope for anyone who was experiencing an abusive relationship. I wanted to write about my new life in order to convey a message of  triumph and joy and profound appreciation for resisting and overcoming personal tyranny. Well, that is done! But what about the oppression of these past two years? What about the culmination of the hard right turn this country began taking in 1980?  I cannot not write about it.  Writing is an act of resistance that is just as affective as the activist work that I have participated in since November of 2016. Writing clears my mind. Writing raises my voice. Writing sends a message of resistance to the abusive and repressive power structures that seek to quiet us. Writing raises the vibration and gives us energy and hope. So write I will.

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