I am living on two levels these days. Or, I should say, these days more than I ever used to. On one level, I’m sitting on the couch, typing on my computer, or looking out the window at birds, the air conditioning humming. Maybe I’ve got a cup of tea to drink. Maybe I’m thinking…
Image courtesy of: Pintrest
A Pleasing Woman
A Magnificent Mind
A Soft Spirit
Working hard at denial
and unconscious obfuscation
Practicing the art of avoidance
Folding within herself
A verdant vessel for a vacuous seed
Hoping for a change through sweet offerings
While gritting your teeth and conjuring a smile
You’re building a gilded cage
Your tongue bleeding with the words you wish to say
Your feet tiptoeing
When they want to stomp in frustration and irritation
Is it easier to acquiesce?
What is it that you fear?
In time your ebullience may ebb
Your smile may turn into a sneer
And the hard work of keeping it together may exhaust you
And then your unraveling will begin
Day 11. The daily prompt was Unraveling. I am far removed from my former life on so many levels. But today’s prompt had me thinking of women who sacrifice so much of themselves, buying into the fairy tale, afraid of being alone and staying too long because of fear of looking like a failure or fear of poverty or something much worse. The chance to regain yourself and build a better life is out there and worth the fight.
Morning sounds nonexistent
The world neatly colored in colorlessness
Banks of white hip deep
We dig out meters and walkways
Icicles hang from the eaves
Thick spears dangerously hovering overhead
Nearly swollen in its thirst
Can we get out today?
Our feet live in slippers or boots
Our hands in gloves or mitts
Our hair suffers from hat head
while the men grow their faces to insulate
them from the cold
Fleece is our fashion
The season seems endless
Not fleeting nor fleeing anytime soon
(They say it’s the third storm is as many weeks though it feels like more. First the storm, then the days of cleaning up. One runs into the other making the season a long and slow moving freight train.)
Friends! I felt I must share this little gem from Jenn. We’ve had a good spate of wintry weather here leaving us more home bound than usual. This little ditty is an homage to our family. I did not realize the extent the positive impact has had on her life. We are equally blessed to have her in ours as well.
We’re all sitting in the living room with the snow falling with abandon outside. We sip our Boneshaker coffee and our Tazo Awake tea. Perhaps these are metaphors for the kind of people we are. On the TV plays a documentary about the history of New York City and books cover the floor. Somehow I have found myself in a world of life-long learners, lovers and a world of people who find genuine joy and wonder in the world around them. I hope that someday I can follow this example.
There’s something incredible about always seeking knowledge, truth and life. To actively go and find something, rather than passively wait for that something to find you. To be with people who want to know more, educate themselves and live a life in health, grace and critical thought. It’s so interesting to me that on a day when we could be…
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(part of my backyard-a blanket of deep white)
The blizzard has passed although the day is far from ordinary. School cancellations forced me to stay home. Others are digging out, taking another day to reorder their life. We feel lucky not to have lost power even if we got 2 feet or so of snow. It is under 20 degrees and all I can think about is those others in the very eastern part of the state and the islands who are off the grid and cold. We live just far enough from the coast where it could have gone either way.
I’ve got a roast in the oven and potatoes ready to be cooked for my famous mashers. It feels like a Sunday. We went out today, heading to the gym for exercise and the local organic grocery store for dinner ingredients. Laundry is getting done and we are in denial about the workday for tomorrow even as I prepared the smoothies for the next couple of days.
Winter storms shift the beat of daily life. Some panic- rushing to the stores for an overwhelming amount of food, as if Armageddon is approaching. Such a weird response in my mind. We don’t live miles or hours away from the nearest anything. I often wonder how much of the supplies end up in the trash after all is said and done.
So we chill in the chill. We had a great meal together last night-created by what we had in stock. So yummy! And my youngest and two friends took a 2 hour hike into the woods late yesterday afternoon. Refreshed and rejuvenated and ready, they experienced a rare excursion into the quiet. Late last night, the neighbors took their sleds to the street, whipping down the hill in the middle of the road. The travel ban had its benefits!
(another part of the back with the footprints that lead to the woods)
I’ll be up before dawn tomorrow. Hopefully catch a run before the rush. Thanks to all of you for sharing in the tidbits of these last 48 hours. And remember to capture ALL the moments everyday if you can!
Funny thing about snow bound days. They go by quickly. I always plan on “catching up” but somehow all I’ve managed thus far is a bit of dusting, cleaning the tub and putting my laundry away! Oh, and yoga too…
I was awakened early early this morning by the snow plows on the street and my own plow guy. My driveway is very long and sloped in places- it would take hours and hours to shovel just once. In fact, shoveling has been only attempted twice in the twenty-six years that I’ve lived here. Once, in late1992 when I was vastly pregnant with my youngest and the beast of a snow blower (bigger than I could handle) was broken, leaving my then husband to take on the task alone. He spent the next month accompanied by crippling back pain, relief only found by visits to the chiropractor. Five years later, he was nowhere to be found (off on an adventure). With the boys too young to help and me overwhelmed, I called the teenage boys next door to clear us out. So,when my ex left nearly 8 years ago, a friend suggested I get someone to plow me out. (The snow blower was older than me and once again quite dead.) The service is a life saver and worth the money. I’m lucky that it is not expensive as my guy has known my situation.
We still need to shovel though. There are places the plow can’t get around. For some, it would be the equivalent to clearing their own driveway. I try not get negative about the task, especially those times in the recent past when I’ve been by myself (boys away at school). I am still young enough and in good shape. Plus I love being outside! And the boys-both grown-know what to do. In years past, we made them get out there and take care of those areas that needed to be cleared. They naturally gravitate to the work-such a good thing for me and for them.
Round one is now done. We are expecting more snow until at least 1 am tomorrow. Wilson, my youngest son’s best friend, had fun clearing out his spot. He got word that #2 son was able to use his long arms as a human wiper (my boy is HUGE!) so he figured his whole body was the equivalent! My oldest caught the photos with my phone. (The first 2 through a window screen.)
The boys are upstairs bonding over a Top Gear special. I am writing and pondering a hot shower and perhaps a bit of work on the scrapbook project that I want to complete before I get married and move. I remember this is my last winter here and take it all in.
I count my blessings even as these hours zoom by and the weather forces us to stay put. We have heat, food and each other.
The last flight out left at 7:30 pm. The driving ban takes effect at midnight, leaving only essential personnel permission to use the roads. It’s quiet now; the forecasted wind gusts yet to arrive. The news reported that we have contractors in from as far as Tennessee to help fix the power lines that are bound to come down from the heavy wet snow on the southeast coast or the gusty winds from the Atlantic and Alberta. Not everyone is home yet. I’ll be happy when we are all under one roof, readying ourselves to ride out the blizzard. The youngest brought home a generator, given to him from his boss in case the power goes out here.
This morning’s run in 11 degree darkness is but a distant memory. The cold was biting and inviting as I knew the roads would be impossible to endure for at least a day. I thought I might see the sunrise, but alas the steel sky won out once again!
I knew a storm was coming; I could smell it. Not the buttery scent of rain yet to arrive but the pings of a sharp crunch or something like a dull brightness. I could feel it too. The dry air was on the verge of giving in for a change; it’s been a ‘mild’ winter here. Cold, cold but no white blanket gracing the backyard. Just the land of nosebleeds, scratchy throats and thirst. Some days are so parched that it’s like living in an Artic desert.
But not tonight. Picture perfect precipitation. I hope I sleep without the worry of that dead silence, the one where you don’t hear the humming of the refrigerator or tinging of the radiator.
Sleep tight wherever you are!