Author: buildingalifeofhope

My name is Kim. I believe that life always allows us an opportunity for genuine connections with others. I believe in waking up each day, not with dread about what's ahead, but with the idea to expect the unexpected. What a miracle! There was a time in my life that I became voiceless; I lost my sense of self. Now I am learning how to live out loud and appreciate the small blessings (even the ones in disguise!) that my new life has given me. Through this blog, I hope to promote humor, honesty and humility and share the knowledge that no one is ever alone in any struggle that they may face.

Inner Reflection

On April 8, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry2 Comments

Credit: www.zillamag.com

Do you ever want to be a stranger somewhere

to walk alone into a crowded cafe’

and be silent and still

lost in your own world?

Do you ever want to remain anonymous

to sit and lose yourself in daydreams

making up life stories about the people around you?

Do you ever want to leave your appearance at home

to walk in unadulterated and unadorned freedom?

Do you ever want to cast a long shadow or vaporize into the mist

or become that crystalline air that takes others breath away?

Do you ever want to flow like the tides

to roll gently and smoothly

in and out of your own consciousness?

Do you ever want to let go of the world

its teeming madness and incessant obligations

and offer them over

surrender them

and transform them into silence?

Do you ever want to sit with yourself

peel back the layers of hardness and pain,

allow yourself to soften and ripen,

to be at one with Mother Earth?

Would you reflect the majesty of the galaxies and the glory of the heavens?

Would you capture your essence, the core of your soul?

She Said, He Said

On April 7, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry6 Comments

Credit: www.telegraph.co.uk

How do you know it’s real, she said

When each hello is ripe with anticipation and every goodbye makes you cry, he said

Yes, but what about after that? she said

When each moment feels like its happening for the first time, he said

Yes, but they don’t last, we all know that, she said

Those times are the building blocks for a strong partnership, he said

Oh so you mean what we go back to when we find ourselves settling in? she said

Yes, those reminders of why we fell in love in the first place, he said

Well, with you I always go back babe, she said

Then it must be real, he said

Journey to the Other Side

On April 6, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn Uncategorized7 Comments

Credit: intentblog.com

At the time of the dismantling I used to wonder

used to sweat in desperation

used to be ensnared in your endless games of lashing out

for punishment of things that I did not do

for the person you thought I was

the one who punished you for her own guilt

At the time of the dismantling

I felt myself wasting away

sick with a loss of control over my own destiny (or so it seemed)

eager with a morbid curiosity about your private transgressions

At the time of the dismantling

I used to wish you would become a stranger to me

someone I would pass by on the street or the airport without notice

someone I would see by chance who didn’t bring me to the brink of madness

At the time of the dismantling

I wish I wouldn’t recognize you

to turn my head in instinct at your unwelcome presence

a witness to your lingering lurking

and latching yourself to people and places where I could be found

At the time of the rebuilding

I ceased to wonder

became refreshed in renewal

no longer trapped, but free in my freedom

At the time of the rebuilding

I felt my self growing

a woman with curves and flesh

the mistress of my destiny

no longer curious but filled with awe at new love found

At the time of the rebuilding

you became unfamiliar

a transient that I passed by with ease

no longer on edge, existing on a different plane

At the time of the rebuilding

I no longer took notice of you

I see you on the street at a distance,

at peace with knowing that the long ago parting happened to someone else

Light in My Hands

On April 5, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry8 Comments

to love

A Young Life snuffed out in an instant by a speeding driver

A Mid-Life so full of memories, becoming rapidly unknown

A Mature Life declared terminal by a slow-moving diagnosis

Bad surprises make us stand still

Hold our breath

Fall to the floor screaming

Look life in the eyes

Open your heart to hope

Lift yourself up

Gather strength through others and within yourself

Seek out joy

Remind yourself why you are here

Each moment is a step towards a new beginning

The first 3 lines of this piece are bits of news that are close to home. We know we cannot control serious illness and sudden tragedy. No words can offer real comfort. We can gather together and hold one another close and stay grateful for what we have and are there for one another.

Life is so very fragile. Find your joy today.

Thanks to Kellie Elmore for this power Free Write Friday prompt. And I have the added bonus in making it another poem for poetry month!

Witness

On April 4, 2014April 4, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetryLeave a comment

Credit: howtheotherhalflives.deviantart.com (Hunger by Tess Cummings)

The list resides on a yellowed pad

Necessary nourishment for the coming week

We stop here first before our feastive task

Caffeinated fuel and friendship

A 21st Century Communion

In the shop’s short distance

A dear friend is spied

A light touch to greet her

Deep hugs and hushed whispers

Our minds meeting for a minute and more

But ensconced in the corner

Nearly unnoticeable from view

Sits the Serpent Sipping sumatra opposite a slender lass

His head a crusted flesh

For me: a glimpse of recognition

A trickle of fear

A tiny rat-a-tat-tat of the heart

But for the first time a small measure of sincere safety, a healthy emotional distance

A graceful departure

This crinkly creature

This squalid stranger once starved three loving souls

Sacrificed them for his vision quest

Yes, the memories linger still

Days of bare cupboards and hollowed tummies

Secret stashes hidden from him

Stunned into silence

Bullied and Blamed by the Beast

A Buried Hunger hidden from everyone and ourselves

At present day an unfilled refrigerator and a paltry pantry give rise to a familial panic

A sign of a decade’s old deprivation

The yellowed pad travels with us

The list an act of defiance

A shout out loud

A second slaying of the dragon

And always a Harvest of Hope

Morning Clarity

On April 3, 2014April 3, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry2 Comments

Credit: www.leemaysgardeninglife.com

Venus greets me before the sun

The day’s first star in the East

I step out the back door

Settle on the steps

Sipping, Listening Seeing

My stockinged feet welcome the chill of the cement

A runner’s massage before the road’s daily aches

Birdsong chatter a welcome cacophony

Drowning out Winter’s silence once more

Ducks make their way to their liquid oasis

Rapid beating of wings a thrilling urgency

A celebration of the newer season

I fill my lungs, the air freshly cold

Nary a scent:pure

My mind has yet to be cluttered

I sip my beany brew

Offering up peace, honoring the gift

for this brand new day

Giving Up the Ghost

On April 2, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry2 Comments

Credit: www.dailymail.co.uk

You left before you arrived

Though your departure was not scheduled

You were more or less on Standby

Awaiting in anticipation to be called

One foot always out the door

A distant look in your eyes

Those brief exits a means of escape

not from us, but from yourself

Intent on pursuing false quests

Feral fulfillment found in daring adventures

Dogged pursuits of “easy money”

Faltered and Failed Fusing your Fate

When at last you made that final turn

That last leave taking

It was as if you’d never been among us

Your abject existence an aberration

A fleeting apparition

Lion and Lamb

On April 1, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn poetry9 Comments

Credit: www.thestar.com

Opening the window

Turning up the volume

on the wind and rain

drops beating

sounds: a metal drum

an unexpected rhythm

dancing on the chairs

elderly and youthful pines

swinging and swaying

an homage to one another

My world is a blanket of camouflage colors

Grays, browns, blacks and greens

Trees still lack their first season’s buds

I await the birth of their newest progeny

Winter’s white finally losing the battle

Snowbanks disintegrating and retreating

Transforming into rivulets

The earth beneath no longer stiffened

but softening, oozing a gorgeous liquid bronze

Voyage to Nirvana

On March 29, 2014March 30, 2014 By buildingalifeofhopeIn Flash fiction, Uncategorized25 Comments

Image Credit: stuffpoint.com

You find yourself in the lower level of an old ship. A calendar on the wall says 1682. There is a small window, and the view is nothing but open sea and a setting sun. There is a staircase and you can see daylight at the top…

Lydia awoke to the sound of vomiting, the stench of urine and shit and the feeling of her body being buffeted against a rough surface. Her mouth was parched as her tongue scraped across her lips in a feeble attempt to quench her thirst. Her eyes searched for information in a near void of blackness. Straight on, a piece of paper crudely slapped upon wooden beams. In her blurred vision, she could make out four numbers:1682. As her eyes adjusted to the low lighting, she realized that she was looking at a calendar. August 7, 1682!

Dazed and out of sorts, she attempted to arise only to be slammed down by a sudden jolt. Something was not quite right. She stood up once more only to fall over once again. As she tried one final time to upright herself, a phantom hand grabbed her forearm. “Aye, where you going there, Missy?” Could it be? Was this her former lover disguised as some sort of rag tag sailor out of a pirate movie? God, he was wretched looking. And then she looked at herself. A gown of some sort corseted at the chest and waist. She was covered in a heavy shawl and her long flowing hair-did she have hair?- was atop her head hidden beneath a bonnet.

This was too weird. Where the hell was she? That tequila sure was strong last night. How many shots did she drink, anyway? As she looked around, there appeared to be others in the “hole” with her. Men, women, children in various states of sleep as well as health. Then that smarmy voice called out again .”Come on lovey, give it over a little.” One hand was at her breast and the other up her dress. But her foot reached the perfect target just in time for another rolling around the room. He screamed and she found herself up against a set of stairs, her head aching. She looked up. Daylight! Lydia mustered all her strength and crawled on all fours to the top.

“Hey, babe. Sounds like you had a rough night at Club 1682. I made your favorite breakfast and some strong coffee. But first let’s get ourselves in that warm bubble bath made just for two.”

Thanks once again to Kellie Elmore for the Free Write Friday prompt!