High Tide

                    Rough Atlantic surf near St. Augustine, Florida

 

The wind is up and the surf is rough

I need its roar to quiet my mind

quell my sinking thoughts

(It’s a daily occurrence)

I am seeking peace and clarity

and finding it to be a rarity

Can you hear them again?

The thundering hooves of despots and the pandering peacocks

with  painted smiles

promising

protection

A return to greatness and glory

Making the nation “theirs” again

They’ve created a turbulent uncertainty

and a typhoon of terror

They fracture freedoms of the disenfranchised

Revoke rights and restrict access

Rape Mother Earth in the dead of night

This is not my beloved country

I am not in the land of the free

But there’s still time to be brave

I am swimming with the riptide

Rowing with one oar

( I’ve been here before)

  and racing into the headwinds

in search of a safer shore

Day 18: Part of an undated entry in my writer’s notebook, rediscovered.

Thoughts While Driving in the Sunshine State

Image result for woman drowning art

Image courtesy of:  https://www.deviantart.com/mossaabdaoui/art/Drowning-356156996

 

Stuck at another endless red light

I wonder

How will I leave if it’s a Cat 4 or 5?

Will I make it out alive?

I consider the fragility of my state

(and I mean my mind)

Refugee status is one crisis away

But then I disagree

(with myself in my mind)

Catastrophe and Calamity

have already arrived!

The Winds

The Rains

The Fires

The Explosions

The Persecutions

and Famines

My status is wavering and faltering

like the ground beneath my feet

My fears are well founded:

The displacement of my gender

The  violation of my validity

my cogency

my power

my credibility

Declaring war on me

Religion that seeks my submission

with no regard of my opinion

never mind my cognition

A refugee in my own nation

The waters are rising on a blue sky day

 

Day 16: Came home from work and this is what happened. Florida is on the front line for climate  and political change. A fragile beauty that continues to be destroyed on land and water. 

Broken Men

Image result for rising up against tyrannical men

                             Image courtesy of: PictureQuotes.com

We suffer at the hands of others’ inadequacies

The ones whose original wounds ferment and smolder

like cans of old fish and slow burning peat

The air is saturated with their stench of self-hate

Their fathers were tough-minded tormentors and serial abusers

Tyrants at the dinner table

They swallowed supper in shrinking, sullen silence

Broken men who turned to God or the Devil

One adorns himself with the armor of false piety

but he is a disciple of those brothers from Kansas

(He got lost on his way to Nazareth)

His aim is your body:

Submit and have children

The other is a con

A wielder of counterfeit deals

Your body is a tool to be grabbed and discarded

Submit and be paid in millions for silence

Yet they aren’t the ones holding the Aces

They are held up by others with skin in the game

Enablers and Expenders

Inebriated Indolents and Posturing Posers

Beware of the ones with more secrets to hide

They are the bona fide criminals in our nation’s homicide

Day 15: A piece grown from the word “inadequacies” that sprung from my brain while standing at the kitchen sink!

The Running Manifesto

Related image

Image Courtesy of: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/190628996699364479/

 

Her mind is restless.

She is living with a sense of foreboding that she finds difficult to escape.

Running:

the welcome release valve,

the essential respite,

the place to gather thoughts and make sense of things.

Running gives a woman positive bodily integrity.

The sheer act tells the story of how a woman won’t be controlled

by restrictive laws or narrow thinking

that seeks to put her in her “place”

or shames her into choices

that someone else is making for her and her life.

She controls the pace because it is her race to run.

So why  run?

Run to stay empowered.

The goals?

To remain a free and self-determined woman.

And what is she training for?

Her Life

 

Day 14: This poem has pieces from a post of mine “Freedom of Movement” that I wrote on November 6, 2015- the year before election night. I must have had a sense that changes were approaching. In reality, they were already underway; the widgets were set in place in the 1980’s. 2016 was the beginning of the overt onslaught.

 

Host Bodies*

Related image

 Image courtesy of: https://visionaryartistrymag.com/2016/02/afshin-naghouni-beautiful-images-ugly-truths/

 

What is the sanctity of life?

When does it begin and when does it end?

Whose life is sacred and holy?

I hear that the state of my  body in your state will have no exceptions.

Incest and Rape: Criminal conceptions

 Six week legality is out of touch with reality

You care for the “Innocent”

Yet spare no regard for a woman’s predicament

Born Female

Born with no human value

Born to temper the impulses of our own personhood:

Education

Self-determination

Independence

Sexual Expression

I live in fear of the pitchforks of Oppression

Intent on seizing Political Power and Unholy Ascension

 

 

* Title inspired by the idiotic comments of Florida House Speaker Jose Oliva who used the term to describe pregnant women five times during a recent interview. He later apologized but we all know the subconscious mindset has a truly ugly way of revealing itself.

Day 13: Recent state laws passed extreme abortion restrictions with the intent to get their cases before the Supreme Court. Such an ugly contest that doesn’t take into consideration ANY situation and does not have any medical or scientific basis, just right wing Christian religious belief disguised as a means to protect the unborn when in reality they don’t protect the living.  Their agenda is female subjugation and dehumanization, period. Jesus would be mortified.

 

False Self/True Self

Image result for warrior woman in art

Image courtesy of: http://studiomuku.com/works/red-warrior-woman-painting

 

Don’t try too hard to prove yourself

Your posturing will become a self-fulfilling prophecy

Others will notice your overt preening,

that missed aim at pleasing.

The past is just that

Remove the emotion

Remain steel-eyed and unbroken

The moment is small

 It will not be your downfall

  The Warrior Woman is

Herself

Most of all

Day 12: There will always be forces out there that stray into your path, obstacles that attempt to block your growth, ideas, and momentum. The challenge is to keep your head and not let your emotions rule or past experiences serve as the means of responding to them.

Never Victim, Servant, Or Beggar

Image result for strong woman in artImage courtesy of:Linda Ryan https://lindaryanart.com/tag/strong-women/

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet ~ Ghandi

I can choose to walk like a wounded warrior,

allowing the scars of old battles to reopen and fester.

I can choose to act like a servant,

the invisible maid that cleans your messes,

only known to you when I leave behind my dirty rags.

I can choose to be a supplicant

the one that begs to be heard,

while you stand over me

the master of rules and the keeper of keys

But I won’t be a victim, a servant or a beggar.

I will choose to run unscathed

by the arrows that attempt to slay me.

I will choose to be the mistress,

a visible force that refuses to feign a lowly existence.

I will choose to be my own sovereign nation;

one who raises her voice, stands up and never kneels.

 

Day 11: This is for anyone who is or has been in a situation or position where another or others treat you as their inferior.

My Body, My Self

-FASHION STYLIST & CREATIVE DIRECTOR-

Image courtesy of: http://elizabethajomale.tumblr.com/post/106274743769

“Embedded in the American Constitution was the right to privacy. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well- meaning but without understanding.”  ~ Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis

What is women’s fundamental freedom?

PRIVACY

Our stories are personal and parallel

Reproductive and Sexual

It is my mother’s in 1962: Age 24

Whose kidney disease left her unable to bear more children

BECAUSE IT WOULD KILL HER

When abortion was illegal

No option for a tubal ligation

Instead she was placed on medication

THE PILL

It is my mother’s in 1981: Age 43

A missed period and a pregnancy scare

When abortion was legal

An inevitable decision she would have had to make if the results had been positive

BECAUSE IT WOULD KILL HER IF SHE DIDN’T

It is mine in 1998: Age 37

  Mother of two beautiful boys

Abortion is legal

BUT

Loud, violent, deadly protests

Fierce and frightening gauntlets

form to block entrances to care

I fear a failure of birth control

An accidental pregnancy

I want a permanent procedure

The experience felt like a Prohibition speakeasy:

sordid and secretive,

a place of secret codes and knocks.

Why is it that we vainly celebrate,

freely flaunt,

and strongly sanctify,

men’s sexual freedom and prowess

without risk of consequences?

They have unconstrained access to

inexpensive condoms,

erectile dysfunction medications,

and vasectomies.

 While women’s vaginas and uteruses

are held under lock and key

by legislative laymen

intent on keeping women either virtuous or vilified.

WE WANT A SENSE OF OUR OWN AGENCY!

A woman’s right to privacy begins and ends with her body.

A woman’s body is her house.

She has a right to stand her ground

against all unwanted intruders

whose sole aim is to take away

her freedom, safety and privacy.

 

Day 9: Much of this poem has been lifted from a speech I gave before the state Constitutional Review Commission last spring. There had been an attempt by the Religious Right to amend the right to privacy.  All State Supreme Court cases involving abortion had hinged on this fundamental right. Thankfully,  the  Commission decided not to take up their attempt at an amendment. However, this legislative session and new governor are bent on restricting access to care for all women. As I write this, bus loads of advocates have driven to the state capital to lobby against proposed legislation related to further restrictions. Interestingly, the quote from Justice Brandeis was from a case about Prohibition!

Mountains on My Mind

I dream of a woodland retreat.

A mountainous oasis.

Walking in the forest

Bathing in nature

as the green canopy of hardwood trees

sways and sings.

My boots help me find my way.

I pause and listen to a rushing stream.

As I  leap onto slippery and misshapen rocks,

I pray for balance.

I lean toward the outstretched hand of my son,

who seems to have danced on the water.

His fording is eased by the length of his body.

I long to be more limber and less awkward.

  My backpack hugs my body

I feel oddly at ease with its great weight.

 As I take deep, deep breaths,

I feel the tension slough off my body.

Can mountain air comfort you like a warm blanket?

The long granite beds replace the scrambled boulders.

Another summit

Another Celebration

We rest upon them and gaze into Infinity

At one with the Divine

 

Day 6: In 12 days I head north.  My spirit yearns for cooler altitudes and time with my tribe. The photo is from a hike to Camel’s Hump in Vermont that Emily and I completed. I have yet to write about that day!  One of the most mentally challenging in my life…

She Persists

Image result for symbols for persistence

                                      Hamsa: The Hand of Fatima

   (courtesy of: http://mythologian.net/symbols-strength-extensive-list/)

 

You were whole along

Even when the weaponed words cut you

and hammered their hurt.

Tied you to the tracks

as the lumbering locomotive lurched towards you.

You defied the Damsel in Distress Delegations,

beating the drum to your own destiny.

Still today

You were pinpricked.

Blood bursting

unexpected spatter that landed on the floor and walls.

Faint whispers of long ago depositions

and ugliness attempted a resurgence.

Someone poisoned the well,

but you refused to drink.

You tended the wound

and sealed the leak.

Retained your Integrity

Reminded once again that you will not be broken by ugliness and ignorance.

 

Day 3: This day sort of wrote itself.  The details need not be regurgitated. I am grateful for the support I received and the beautiful reminder of who I am: a passionate woman who has a way with words and uses them well.